true confessions

Let it peter Snow, Let it peter Snow, Let it peter Snow

2008-12-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been trying desperately to join in on all of the holiday fun and surprises that this magical season and all of it's retailers attempt to tell me I should be joining in on. Because of this I have posted (FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY) the 2 songs over at our Myspace page that were intended for inclusion on 'Sideshow Unattraction' but for whatever reasons were left off at the last minute! Now (FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY) you can listen to both 'Box Of You' AND 'Splinter In The Soul'. Download them even... for FREE! Quick!!!...Hurry on over to:
www.myspace.com/thejamesclarkinstitute

In other news, I was invited by a music friend of mine to be a guest this week on his podcast broadcast. Peter Snow is a musician who lives in Hamilton, Ontario and hosts a weekly music and arts podcast called 'The Alder Fork'. Listen in and hear me eat Christmas cookies, mumble on about 'Sideshow Unattraction' ; eat Christmas cookies; play a live solo version of 'Sleeping In My Favourite Shirt'; eat Christmas cookies; plug my favourite Monkees record(?!) and eat Christmas cookies. Check it out here:
http://thealderfork.libsyn.com/

Because I've become rather tortoise-like lately around here in the ol' blogger, I would like to take this small paragraph to thank everyone who supported the james clark institute in 2008. It's been a swingin' year! If you don't see me around here in the next couple of weeks, I'll see ya in '09. I promise to drop by here a little more often next year. Drive safely....and to all a good night.

Yer Pal,
james

Indie Weak

2008-10-12T22:43:00.000-07:00

Oh when will I learn?!

The James Clark Institute played 'Indie Weak' at Toronto's Rancho Relaxo last Wednesday evening. We had been informed by countless Indie Weak emails during the week leading up to Indie Weak, that the evening's soundcheck would take place at 6:30 pm with the first band (that would be us) taking the stage at 9:30 pm. So, being the true professionals that we are, we rolled in at 6:50 pm. I actually felt slightly bad arriving a wee bit late for our soundcheck. I soon recovered from those feelings when we were told that the sound guy hadn't arrived yet. In fact the sound guy would not arrive until 8:50 pm! In fact, no one at Indie Weak had notified the booker at Rancho Relaxo that there would be a 6:30 sound check. IN FACT there was no sound guy even booked for Indie Weak that night!!! The booker at the club (who arrived shortly after 8 pm) began calling around, scrambling to find a tech who would work the night. Samsun came running in at 8:50 and bless his heart, got things up and running by 9:15 pm. We played an incredibly tight half hour set to a small but very appreciative audience. I believe that there may have been more people there had Indie Weak not been promoting the (real?) Indie Weak Launch Party that was happening on the same night, at another club in the city! It was as if they had too many bands booked for Indie Weak and decided to throw a few of us together for a 'less important' show. I didn't realize when I first submitted my press kit to Indie Weak, that Indie Weak is actually a glorified battle of the bands. I also didn't realize that The James Clark Institute is a country band. Yup, we were showcasing on 'country night'. Well, to be honest, since being booked for Indie Weak I'm a little confused as to what kind of band we are. You see, the genius' at Indie Weak booked us for 'country night' but if you go to the band listings at www.indieweek.com The James Clark Institute is listed as New Age!!?!! Needless to say, we didn't win the big country talent show that night.

Oh when will I learn!?

Yer pal,
james

Aaarrrrggghhhh!!!

2008-09-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

Believe me, I do realize that I've slacked off all summer and did not post one new article here for you all to read and shake your head at. I did indeed intend to sit down tonight and bring you something new and super exciting to ponder. Unfortunately I ate far too many 'Sneaky Dee's' Nachos for lunch today. Aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!! So please forgive me. I must lie down now.

ps. 'Sideshow Unattraction' charted on the Waterloo University charts last month. 'Kangaroo' has been receiving airplay in Kamloops.

yer....ugh...pal,
james

GOD, Why doesn't Guelph like me?

2008-07-05T15:45:00.000-07:00

It's been rather quiet and lonely around the ole institute lately. I've been wasting...er....spending a lot of my time mailing out copies of 'Sideshow Unattraction' which in case you haven't heard is the BRAND NEW SUPER EXCITING RECORD from the james clark institute. Go now and order your copy here: www.cdbaby.com. I'll wait here while you do.....dum dum di dum dum.....

Thankyou. So as I was saying, I've been wasting...er...spending a lot of money on postage as I attempt to get college radio across Canada and parts of the goof ole USA to play my record. It's early yet but so far they like me in Thunderbay and they don't like me in Guelph. That's just plain weird for me because the james clark institute charted in Guelph with the last record, 'Home is Where the Heart Attack is' a few years back. But since then they have changed music directors and obviously stopped supporting good independent music. I make no apologies here, 'Sideshow Unattraction deserves to be heard. I find it rather unfortunate that an artist can pour his heart and pathetic little soul into a project for two and a half !@#$ years only to be ignored by some when it's finally unleashed. I suppose it's all part of the ugly and nauseating territory.

But all hope is not lost. This week I was informed that 'I Wonder Where You Are Tonight Jennie Lee', a song from 'Sideshow Unattraction', hit number one on the charts of SongPlanet Radio. SongPlanet is a crazy groovy internet radio station operating out of Seattle. They have been a great supporter of my songs since I first hooked up with them 3 years ago. DJ Motmot, a dj from SongPlanet even flew from her home in Victoria BC to host my cd release party here in Toronto in May. You should check them out here: www.songplanet.com right after you order my cd from here: www.cdbaby.com. I'll still wait here while you do....

...and I'll see ya next time.

Yer pal
james

the unwanted

2008-06-04T14:05:00.000-07:00

So the record launch event is over. Has been for a couple of weeks now. I feel both estactic that the show went over as it did and somewhat perplexed as to what to do next. Of course this is where the real work starts as I attempt to 'sell' the record. Shove it down the throats of the record buying masses. Unfortunately there really isn't a mass of people buying records...uh..sorry, cds anymore. The band played incredible that night and would love to do more shows where I can afford to bring them along. One thing I'm sure of, 'Sideshow Unattraction' is a really good record that deserves to be heard. If you know me, then you know that I don't often say things like that about my work. I would even say that getting dumped was worth it. It's that good.

So the record ended up being 12 tracks long. There were 14 songs that were mixed and mastered for 'Sideshow Unattraction' but in the end I decided to leave 2 of them off. I won't go into the reasons why here, I'll just give you the background on them and provide the lyrics so that you can sing along. Too bad you don't know the melodies. But fret not, I do plan on releasing them at some point. Maybe the gift set after I'm dead. I dunno. Anyhooo...let's start with 'Box Of You' shall we?

This song went through many different identities. I have several versions of this song. The first attempt was a straight 4/4 'rawker'. Yeah, kinda boring. The next attempt was the same bed track that was used as it went through its metamorphisis. This one had spurts of harmonica where Vince Yue's beautiful guitar ended up going in the mastered version. That is the most heartbreaking reason why I wish I had used this on the record. Vince's guitar is just as I said, beautiful. It could make any crusty old deceased grandfather weep. I was never really happy with the lyrics though. I went in to the studio on many occasions and would redo a line here or a line there. At the final moment I still wasn't happy with them. There were a few that made me slightly uncomfortable. But in hindsight that's probably a sure sign that people would have dug it. We played it at the cd release gig and I heard lots of positive words about it. So here's the lyrics. The ones that I like and the ones that make me so uncomfortable. Ugh!

BOX OF YOU

What do I do with this box of you?
“Cause although we’re through, I never threw out that box of you.
What do I do with this box of you?
Though you say we’re through, I never threw out that box of you.

Here we are last summer in Des Moines, Iowa.
On our way to Redding, California.
With your Fluevog shoes and my paranoia,
I adored ya, now I wonder what for ya!

What do I do with this box of you?
“Cause although we’re through, I never threw out that box of you.

There you sit with baby at your breast.
Dad’s Nikon capturing your tenderness.
I keep thinking here’s one for the photo contest,
So I can phone ya, don’t want to talk to your lawyer!

Christmas cards I can’t discard I’ve tried but I’m weak.
But was it really so hard for you to part with your box of me?!
Behind my face other traces of you.

I don’t recall where this particular one was taken.
And here’s my ticket from the CTA station.
Just like romance, the colours are fading.
It’s melancholia! I want to call ya!

What do I do with this box of you?
“Cause although we’re through, I never threw out that box of you.
What do I do with this box of you?
Though you say we’re through, I never threw out that box of you.
I never threw out that box of you.
I can’t throw away this box of you!

The second song that didn't make the cut is a song called 'Splinter In The Soul'. This one has an interesting background, or so I think. I was chatting with my psychiatrist during one particular session. We were talking about, what else?, the breakup of my relationship which I just couldn't recover from. This was probably a year or so after the fact. He was mentioning how it is very common for the rejected to obsess over their broken relationship. When he used the term 'rejection becomes obsession' I immediately thought 'I gotta get out of here and write a song with that title!' So I went home and wrote it. Then I changed the name of it. It came really quickly. Lyrically, I mention the four records that I listened to a lot during this period. The records from artists that had all been dumped prior to making these recordings. It's pretty much a Beatles song with less positive lyrics. My drummer Gord Fynes says that it could have been on side four of The White Album. I think it's more 'Rubber Soul' but whatever, it didn't make it onto either of those records and it didn't make it onto mine either. Again, this one will probably surface at some point somewhere. Until then, here are the lyrics. You'll be all ready to join in when the song is finally released. And a one and a two and a....

Splinter in the Soul

When rejection becomes obsession your whole world is consumed,
With photographs and evil laughs and her face painted on the moon.
When rejection becomes obsession you waste away the afternoon,
Listening to Beck’s ‘Sea Change’ and stepping on balloons.

When rejection becomes obsession you’re awake in the wee small hours.
Like Sinatra in ’55, over your own Ava Gardiner.
When rejection becomes obsession your disposition turns so sour.
You lose all will to live like her fading favourite flower.

Like a splinter in the soul,
The likeness is unbearable,
You only need one good pull to be free.

Like a splinter in the soul,
The likeness is unbearable,
You only need one good pull to be free

When rejection becomes obsession your blood is on the tracks,
And the walls and the bridges and anything by Bacharach.
When rejection’s your only connection to a checkered past,
You become the forgotten forgetting nothing ever lasts.

Like a splinter in the soul,
The likeness is unbearable,
Like a splinter in the soul, like a splinter in the soul.

TV’s a drug that makes you dumb but if it helps me forget you then give me some.
TV’s a drug that makes you dumb but if it helps me forget you then give me some.

Well, that's it for lyrics. What the !@#$ will I go on about now?! I'm scared.

See ya soon.

Yer pal,

james

and in the end...

2008-05-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

This next AND last song (whew...finally!) from the new record is one that was recorded specifically with a whistling solo in the middle. I laid down the acoustic guitar track first as I always do. Then I put on a vocal track always hoping to nail it in the first attempt. Then when it came to recording the whistle track, I realized that hey!....I can't whistle! Never could! What was I thinking?! So on the day that my friend Dave was in laying down his harmony track on 'Monstrous', I asked him if he could whistle. Thankfully he could and he did. Thankyou 'Whistlin' Dave'. You made me......

....Nonetheless Happy

It’s the end of September, it’s the end of an error.
We put the game pieces away.
Attempts have all failed to get myself out of jail.
You took the money and away…

…you went tired and spent but nonetheless happy.

It seems you have a new opponent, one I have never met.
I’m not the competitive kind.
No strategy is the word; it’s why I’m always in third,
Almost every single time…

I play, a sore loser but hey you’re nonetheless happy.

While I’m nonetheless empty, nonetheless destitute.
Nonetheless bereft of anything remotely cute.
Nonetheless broken and I’m nonetheless blue,
And I’m nonetheless in love with you.

It’s August 12th, I’m back on the shelf.
Popamatic trouble indeed!
I’m off the board and your winning score
Has brought me more trouble than I need…

…today but I guess I’ll find a way to be nonetheless happy.
Nonetheless happy.

Meanwhile I’m nonetheless empty, nonetheless destitute.
Nonetheless bereft of anything remotely cute.
Nonetheless disheveled and I’m nonetheless blue,
And I’m nonetheless in love with you.
Nonetheless in love with you.

I wrestled with the 'nonetheless in love with you' line forever. I wasn't comfortable using what I felt was such a common line for a song. I tried changing it but could never find anything to replace it with. Also everyone I talked to about it said that it was perfect. No need to change it. A thankyou to my friend Ann who gave me the line 'back on the shelf'.' My line sucked! Thankfully I've forgotten what it was.

Next time we'll visit a couple of songs that didn't make it onto the final cut of the 'Sideshow Unattraction' record. Bye for now.

Yer pal,

james

the fatal mallet

2008-05-20T21:47:00.000-07:00

Here's another lyric that was written before the 'dumping.' About a year before to be exact. I remember the day after the cd release gig for 'Home is Where the Heart Attack is' I woke up with a sore throat. It soon developed into some kind of weird virus that held on to my body and wouldn't let go for about 2 months! During the time when I was the sickest, I had become so frustrated with the situation of not doing anything but lying in bed or moping around that I decided to pick up my guitar and actually write a song. It took me 3 or 4 days to finish it but I felt that I had writen a good one. In fact people who heard it said that I should get sick more often. It was one of the first songs that I recorded for the new record. During the mixing sessions the song almost didn't make the final cut. But I put it on the record because I certainly had my relationship in mind when I was writing it. The relationship was failing at this point and I suppose I was trying to say that I needed to be rescued. So I felt that there was a spot for this song on the record afterall.

GIRL HEROINE

While flipping through the pages of “The Films Of Charlie Chaplin”,
That he acquired in 1973.
He casts his mind way back but he’s not sure how it happened,
How he came to being me.
It’s a sad and sordid script, border lining on slap stick.
It was a real pie in the face to see it turn out like it did.

I need a girl heroine.
Someone to keep the plot moving.
Someone who’ll save me in the end,
A girl Heroine. I need a girl Heroine.

While sifting through the FBI files on Charlie Chaplin,
He uncovered some lies of his own.
All in the name of keeping them laughing,
He buried his heart like a stone.
But the key required most in comedy is pathos.
He did a real double take when life became quite a joke.

I need a girl heroine.
Someone to keep the plot moving.
Someone who’ll save me in the end.
A girl Heroine. I need a girl heroine.

This must be the dream sequence because she’s dressed like angel.
If I could speak in my defense before the mallet fatal
Comes crashing down cracking on my head
Like Mabel said…..

“….He needs a girl heroine.
Someone to keep the plot moving.
Someone who’ll save him in the end.
He needs a girl heroine. A girl heroine.”

I need a girl heroine.
Someone to keep the plot moving.
Someone who’ll save me in the end.
A girl heroine. I need a girl heroine.

The original title for the record long before I decided on 'Sideshow Unattraction' was 'The Fatal Mallet' which derived from this song. That's also why I included a mallet into my sideshow banner that I painted for the cd artwork. And speaking of the cd...

The cd launch is in three days. Only one more lyric from the cd to be delivered. But I also want to present to you a couple of songs that did not make it onto the record as well. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Next time we visit the song that closes the album. And speaking of closing.....

So long.
Yer pal,
james

Who doesn't love a monkey?

2008-05-16T17:00:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang!

As promised here's a lyric that dates back to 1997. Back then it was entitled 'Dexterity'. I wrote it and then proceeded to do nothing with it. I remember my friend Dave liking it but I was never really sure about....except for the part about the monkey. Anyhooooo....several years later when working on the 'heart attack' record I reworked 'Dexterity' until it no longer resembled the song whatsoever. it showed up on that record as 'Crawl And Creep'. A much improved song I thought. So when the writing for 'Sideshow Unattraction' began I found an old demo of 'Dexterity' and thought that maybe it was a pretty good song after all. But I did make some lyric changes again (except for the part about the monkey) and retitled it 'Pretty Dexterity'. So I laid down a bed track for it. Soon after I shelved it again. Still not happy with it. Months later I remember lying awake in the wee small hours of the morning (thankyou Francis) and rewriting the entire song except for the part about the monkey. So I rerecorded it, putting on 4 acoustic guitar tracks and one close mic'd vocal track. It was now entitled 'Popularity Contest'. I really liked it ....but not for long. I shelved it once again. It wasn't until Garry and myself were doing some rough mixes for the record that we came across the track and both agreed that it was a strong performance. But it wasn't until we were doing final mixes that the song actually made the final selection. Even now as I await the call from the manufacturer telling me to come and pick up my cds I question whether or not I made the right decision in including 'Popularity Contest' on the record. But then again who doesn't like songs about monkeys? Here ya go.....

POPULARITY CONTEST

She’s so curt with her words she cuts me down to size.
Despite her laconic ways her popularity rises higher, higher.

She’s so dark with her heart, it puts mine to shame.
Though she tears me apart, I keep falling just like rain.
Falling from higher, higher.

I only wish that I could be a little more popular
Like her train driving monkey, like her train driving monkey.

She’s so approachable though I can never get near.
To what she’s all about now that I’m no longer needed here by her, by her.

I only wish that I could be a little more popular
Like her train driving monkey, like her train driving monkey.
Like her drum banging monkey, like her drum banging monkey.

Mister postman please don’t bring me no more of these.
I don’t want to read about her popularity.
Mister postman please don’t bring me no more of these.
I don’t need to read about her popularity.

He wins, he’s the best in her popularity contest.

The Postman tag was added on to this song because at the time I was so frustrated with receiving mail from a certain textile museum in Toronto informing me, first that my ex was having an upcoming show that just shouldn't be missed and then secondly that my ex had won the 'show of the year' award from this same certain textile museum. So while my ex would have nothing to do with me anymore, I was being reminded of her every couple of weeks. I eventually got them back by secretly replacing all of their Hmong tribal textiles with ponchos I bought at Sears. That'll fix 'em

Yer Pal,
james

Otis and me

2008-05-12T14:37:00.000-07:00

In August of 2001 I flew to Madison, Wisconsin to spend a week with my lady friend who had recently accepted a job oppourtunity too good to pass up and had moved there in June. One of the first things I did upon arriving was read up on all of the things that made Madison 'famous'. The one item that stood out for me was the piece on Lake Monona, which was just blocks away from where she was living. Lake Monona is the lake where Otis Redding's plane had crashed enroute to a gig in Madison on December 10, 1967. At that time I was listening to a lot of Otis' music and so I was very intrigued with this bit of music history I had just enquired. We rented bikes that week and rode past Lake Monona several times. There's even a plaque located on a terrace that was placed there in rememberance of Otis. We rode past that many times as well. I knew then that at some point I would write a song containing my new knowledge.

On the eve of my flight back to Toronto, my lady friend decided that we should end our relationship that night. Given the fact that she was now living in Wisconsin and me still in Toronto it made sense. I was very saddened but understood it was for the best. Hmmmm...now I had material for another song!

Upon returning home I began writing those 2 songs. For some reason not long after, I decided to blend both songs into one (writing 2 songs was just too much work) and after several weeks I had finished 'Lake Monona Last Night'. Well actually, I had the lyrics written but I do recall working for a while longer on the music. When I did feel I had nailed it, I played it for a few friends and probably got the best response I had ever received for a song of mine. I began recording this for the 'Home is Where the Heart Attack is' record in 2004. It just didn't get finished in time for the October release date. I knew that I would probably save it for the next record. BUT I did not know that the next record would be filled entirely with songs about being dumped by my lady friend. Oh by the way, that was the first time I was dumped by her. A few months later, post 9/11, she, feeling entirely alone in Madison, decided that maybe we should get back together again. I being the complete idiot went along with it. But it was never the same again. It was really hard being in a relationship and seeing your partner 3 times a year. But at the same I could never get her out of my head. It would always stop me from pursuing other relationships successfully. At the same time I could never totally commit to her because of the distance involved. Then May 2005 arrived. I flew down to Madison for another week. I remember feeling very lacklustre about it when departing. I thought that we were both wasting our time. But upon arriving there it all became crystal clear to me. I loved being there! I wanted to be there! Seeing her again after not seeing her for a few months felt wonderful. We had an incredible week together. We even talked about me moving to Madison. It would be the last time we were 'together'. I wonder what Otis would have done.

Here's........

Lake Monona Last Night

Something crashed in Lake Monona last night.
A twin engine Beachcraft in Lake Monona last night.
December waters are cold, Lord have mercy on the king of soul’s soul.
Something crashed in Lake Monona last night.

My heart sank in Lake Monona last night.
She made me walk the plank on Lake Monona last night.
She said to quote the song; she’d been loving me too long.
Something crashed in Lake Monona last night.

Down down down like a song in the charts.
You know his crown was found by some record sharks.

My heart drowned in Lake Monona last night.
Not to be found in Lake Monona last night.
Submerged, it succumbed, like the silencing of Mr. Jackson’s drums.

Down down down like a song in the charts.
You know his crown was found by some record sharks.

Something crashed in Lake Monona last night.
Something crashed in Lake Monona last night.
December waters are cold, Lord have mercy on the king of soul’s soul.

Something crashed, something crashed.
Something crashed, something crashed.
Something crashed, something crashed.
Something crashed, something crashed.

© James Clark 2005

I think last time I promised another song from '98. Ooops....sorry. Next time fer sure....I promise.

Yer pal,
james

Thailand...hot! Refridgerator...cold!

2008-05-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well hello there. Thanks for dropping by. Just in time for another fantastic story behind another fantastic song on the new fantastic forthcoming record! By the way I'm not sure if I've mentioned this yet, but the new record, 'Sideshow Unattraction' will be officially released on May 23rd with a celebration that evening at C'est What in downtown Toronto. I'll have an incredible backing band with me and my friend Jennifer Foster will be opening up the night. My other friend (yes I have 2) Ann who dj's at Songplanet.com will be flying in from Victoria to MC the evening. I'm giggling right now with anticipation.

Oh yeah, the song! This song is one of two on the record that originate back to 1998. The lady in question in this song (and every other song on the record) was away in Thailand for six months that year. Our relationship was still very new when she decided she needed to go there and work on her art. She left an open invitation for me to join her. That created a huge dilemma in my tiny mind. So regrettably I never made it there. Just as well I suppose for I would have been there when my brother passed away. But needless to say I missed her terribly and wrote a few songs about her during that time. I recall having the verses and bridge to this one but I was struggling for a catchy lyrical chorus. At one point during a writing session I walked into the kitchen, opened the refridgerator door and my eye caught a photo that I had pinned there. This lady had previously given me baseball card-type photos of 50's pin up queen Bettie Page in various ridiculous poses. There was one where she was posing with zebras. In another she was tied to a tree and seemed to be being tickled by a witch doctor. Then there was the one that caught my eye. The one where she was riding a donkey. I'm not sure what I found in that photo that inspired me (besides the obvious) but the song was finished in no time after that. I was never really sure if it was a good song or just a throw away piece of poo. I do recall playing it for my lady friend upon her return and not getting much response from her. That's probably the main reason I hadn't recorded it up until now. Even up to the mixing stages of this record I wasn't sure if it would make the final cut. But people seem to like it and it's really grown on me. Of course the guys playing on it really helped to make it special. Thank you Greg and Vince and Mike. Garry had some great ideas too. It's a really solid tune. I hope you get to hear it. If so, now with the lyrics you'll be able to sing a long with.....

Bettie Page Rides a Donkey

She’s off in Thailand now living in Changmai,
Banishing herself to the other side.
She’s eating corn and lychee; I have a new dilemma,
Do I cash the cheque or wait for September?
It feels like forever.

While Bettie Page rides a donkey, she’s a million miles away.
She says “act your age” but I’m feeling funky today.

I’m living vicariously through her cards and letters
Sometimes I even think I have it all together.
She’s heading down to Changrai then on to Noah’s village,
While I’m at home learning there’s no rest for the wicked.
Should I be more specific? Not feeling too terrific.

While Bettie Page rides her donkey, I’m a million miles away oh yeah.
She says “act your age”, but I’m feeling funky today.

While I’m contemplating she’s so tired of waiting.
She’s so tired of waiting for me.

While Bettie Page rides her donkey, she’s a million miles away oh yeah.
She says “act your age” but I’m feeling funky today.
Funky today, I’m funky today.

(c) james clark 2008. SOCAN

So we're running out of time. Two weeks before the release and I really want to have all of the lyrics posted here before then. I'd better get my hairy little bum in gear! Next time we'll visit another song from 1998 as well. Until then mark Friday May 23rd on your calendar.

Yer pal,

james

"One Of Us....One Of Us....One Of Us....."

2008-04-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

Well then, since we're on the sideshow wagon, why not make the ride last a little longer? Hang on to your bale of hay kids!

So along with 'Big Shoes To Fill', the lyric we visited last time, there is one more song on the new record with a sideshow theme. Here's the story behind that one: One Saturday night a couple of years back, not long after being dumped, I was at home feeling mighty, mighty lonely and alone. Let's say I was feeling pathetic and ugly! I decided to watch a movie and threw 'Freaks' into the DVD player. I'm sure anyone reading this is familiar with 'Freaks' but if not here's a brief synopsis. 'Freaks' was made in 1932 and centers around a sideshow freakshow. It cast some of the most popular human oddities in the business at that time. When it was originally released it was banned in the United States as it was considered to be to grotesque for the general public. But it is now widely available on the very popular DVD format and if you have not seen it, it is certainly worth a viewing. Anyhooooo, getting back to my own freakshow, I watched that movie on that lonely Saturday night and as I sat there on the couch I felt a real relation to these people. Not in a physical sense of course, but more in an emotional way. Through words and accusations that were said to me upon the breakup of my relationship, I could not help but feel somewhat like a freak! The movie ended, I watched the special features because they're always fun and make me giggle, picked up my guitar and out came the song 'I Wonder Where You Are Tonight Jennie Lee'. A while later I briefly renamed it 'Tonight I Wonder Where You Are Jenny R.' to give it more of a personal touch, but felt that it just didn't flow as nicely lyrically.

From a musical standpoint, when I was writing it I was going for something crossed between a Dylan vibe circa 'Highway 61' and a mid Beatles period. There definitely is a nod to 'Help' going on in the verses. After it was written I could hear a bit of Michael Nesmith happening as well. The vocal effect we used in the bridge certainly lends itself to late '60s Nesmith. I'm wearing three of my biggest influences from that era all at the same time on my tear drenched sleeve.

So without further ado, I present for you......

I Wonder Where You Are Tonight Jennie Lee

Casting long shadows I can’t smile but I can weep.
Under your spotlights with the secrets I can’t keep.
My horoscope said I am having a bad week,
And I wonder where you are tonight my Jennie Lee.

Elizabeth singing like a bird.
My apologies, I don’t understand a word.
The little prince rolls a smoke just for me,
As I wonder where you are tonight my Jennie Lee.

Romance, ambulance…one follows the other,
When you’re addicted, afflicted with the memory of another.

Venus De Milo, while sipping at her wine,
Waves to the people, claiming a good time.
While Martha wonders what it is that’s gotten into me,
But all I can wonder is where you are tonight my Jennie Lee.

Romance, ambulance…one follows the other.
When you’re addicted…afflicted with the memory of another.

Daisy and Violet rarely feel alone.
Joining each other on their saxophones.
On Wilkinson Boulevard they weigh in happily.
But there’s no way they can tell me where you are.
No they can’t say where you are.
So I’ll stay a humiliated star tonight my Jennie Lee.
My Jennie Lee.
My Jennie Lee.

Thanks for reading. Is anybody reading these things at all? Everyone onthe planet Earth has a blog these days. Well at least I'm making myself feel important for a brief moment. That's a better feeling than pathetic and ugly.

Yer pal,

james

Those are awfully big shoes fella!

2008-04-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well! Where does the time go when you're mixing and remixing a record while painting a 9'x6' sideshow banner?!!! I don't know, but that's what I've been doing pretty much full time since last we met. Excuses, excuses. I know, but oh I remember how I used to love to sleep. Anyhoooo...yes!...a sideshow banner. The record is now officially entitled 'Sideshow Unattraction' and because of that I have created a lifesize canvas banner. It will be photographed for the record cover and as well it will be used as a backdrop for the record release show coming up in May. Hopefully I'll be able to use it beyond that at future shows as well. I'd better because jeeez... it was a lot of work just to roll it up and stick it in the corner of my apartment.

Which takes us to this entry's lyrical content. If there was to be a so-called 'theme' song to this record then it would be this one. 'Big Shoes To Fill.' I'm not sure when this was written exactly, or why for that matter. I believe I was reflecting on a tourist amusement park located in Baraboo, Wisconsin. It's called 'Circus World' and was originally the winter home for barnum and Bailey during the off season. I visited there in May of 2005 when life was looking good again, just months before it wasn't looking good at all. I suppose it's my kiss-off song rolled up in a circus theme. The problem was that I never did forget about 'you.' Here ya go.

BIG SHOES TO FILL

Step right up! Watch me forget about you.
There’s a special place for me in Baraboo.
I hope you’ll come up and see me fall down.
I know you have another, maybe two.
Juggling’s never been so difficult for you.
If I know you, and I do, you’re not wearing a frown.

But I am leaving these big shoes to fill, big shoes to fill.
I know you want to so I know you will fill these big shoes to fill.

There’s a broken seltzer bottle on the 3rd ring floor.
A broken heart in trailer number four,
Because I am sure he fills you up with passion and with mirth.
I understand this show, it can’t go on,
We’ve been pretending for eight years on.
Now I know you’ve gone and this heart’s taken the greatest blow on earth.

But it’s leaving you with big shoes to fill, big shoes to fill.
I know you want to so I know you will fill those big shoes to fill.

I’m not a strong man but I’m very tall.
But you can make me feel oh so very small.
Like the dwarf in the 2 o’clock show,
I’m a wonder of the world and I wonder where’ll you go…now!...

The sword swallower and the acrobat,
Both agree your words were sharp as tacks.
Now there’s no turning back and no net down below.
The tattooed lady is looking blue.
The elephants are grey just like me too.
Unlike them you’ll forget me by tomorrow.

But please remember these big shoes to fill, big shoes to fill.
I know you’re searching for new sights and thrills,
Big shoes to fill, big shoes to fill.
I know you want to but you never will fill these big shoes to fill.

Step right up! Watch me forget about you!

Thanks for reading as always. I'm going to try my darndest to get back here real soon. I promised lyrics, lyrics and more lyrics before the record arrives. I'd better get a crackin'.

yer pal

james

ps. Speaking of big things, the biggest thankyou in the world goes out to Vanessa for allowing me to turn her apartment upside down for 3 months and paint a sideshow banner screwed into her living room wall. What a gal!

2008-02-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

Hello Friends,

It's lyric time once again. Time for the revealing of another lyric from the forthcoming james clark institute record. By the way, the tentative title for the record is simply 'Frown'. There have been 4 or 5 titles that I've considered off and on since the recording began but I could never really decide on one. 'Frown' seems to work for a few different reasons. First off, I had been listening to The Beach Boys 'Smiley Smile' record quite a bit during the final stages of the recording. One day I was talking with my good friend Greg Condie who plays keys on the record and I was telling him of my frustration with the fact that the record was taking so long to complete. He joked that this would be my 'Smile' record. Referring to the Beach Boys record that drove Brian Wilson over the emotional edge. I replied "Yeah, but mine will be called 'Frown'!" As soon as it was out of my mouth and in my ears I knew that this was the title I had been waiting for. Not to mention that the entire record is a collection of songs that were written after my long term relationship went south. So I think it fits.....so far.

Anyhoooo....on to the lyrics. This song was actually written about 2 months before the dumping. The title came to me one day out of the blue. 'Sleeping in My Favourite Shirt.' I thought it was a great name for a song and so I wrote it. It's essentially about a guy who gets dumped and doesn't take it so well. He finds that he spends most of his time sleeping. Sleeping in his favourite shirt. I finished it and was very happy with it. Then as the real life story goes, like the loser in the song I too was dumped. Maaan....I didn't see that coming, I swear! Heed my advice all you budding songwriters out there and be careful of what you write about.

See ya next time.
Yer pal,
james clark

Sleeping In My Favourite Shirt

I can’t remember the last time the drapes were pulled,
Open to reveal the outside world,
And let the sun warm these shattered nerves.

I can’t remember the last time the sheets were washed.
I can’t remember the last time the teeth were flossed.
I can’t forget when and what I lost.

Now I’m sleeping in my favourite shirt.
I keep having dreams where I don’t hurt.
Sleeping in the bed I made,
And I’ll be sleeping for a thousand days,
Sleeping for a thousand days in my favourite shirt.

It’s been a long time since my face last showed up,
Reflected in your best plates and cups.
These days they’re down in the sink with my luck.

Because I’m sleeping and nothing is better.
When I’m sleeping there’s no better place.
If I’m slumbering the reasons are out numbering the creases on my face!

La la la la, la la la la la. La la la la, la la la la la.
Lullabies and good ridence.

‘Cause I’m sleeping in my favourite shirt.
I keep having dreams where I don’t hurt.
Sleeping in a bed I made,
And I’ll be sleeping for a thousand days.
Sleeping for a thousand days in my favourite shirt.

The neighbour’s dog howls outside my window.
Amongst the grass that remains unmowed.
And I’m oblivious to the world I used to know.

‘Cause I’m sleeping in my favourite shirt.
I keep having dreams where I don’t hurt.
Sleeping in a bed I made,
And I’ll be sleeping for a thousand days, sleeping for a thousand days.
Sleeping for a million days, sleeping for a billion days,
Sleeping for a zillion days,
Sleeping in my favourite shirt.

(c) 2005 james clark SOCAN

2008-02-03T21:06:00.000-08:00

Yikes! It's February. I hate February. 3 days after another jumbo dumping of snow on Toronto I am pining for summer time. Just think, right now it is summer time in Australia. I hate Australia. Probably more than I hate February. I haven't always held these negative feelings for the continent that gave us Men At Work. It's amazing how one's list of fantasy holiday destinations can alter once they've had a devastating event occur associated with that particular place. 2 1/2 years after being dumped via email from Australia I still have a hard time listening to my Air Supply cds.

Which brings us to another set of lyrics from the forthcoming james clark institute record. This time, as promised is a song entitled 'Kangaroo'. Self explanitory I think. Girl goes to Australia. Girl meets boy. Girl goes to internet cafe. Girl dumps other boy via email. Email Boy weeps. Email Boy writes a gazillion songs to ease the pain. This was song number 2.

KANGAROO

With the seasons changing in reverse,
You found your reasons for leaving me immersed.
And because it’s winter in July,
Your heart wins the ice sculpture prize.

With your totem pinned to the wall,
You left me holding on and pinned to the fall.
The distance between us paralleled,
The damage done to my ventricles.

Kangaroo….Kangaroo…It’s all thanks to you.

Up and away like you’re some kind of super girl.
And I’m your Kryptonite waiting on the other side of the world.
You’ve been checking into ways to leave.
I’ll be checking out just like George Reeves.

Kangaroo….Kangaroo…It’s all thanks to you.

With the seasons changing in reverse.

Be sure and check back real soon. I'll be posting another lyric before ya know it. Right this moment I'm not sure which one it will be. Hmmmmm......will it be a song about being dumped? Or maybe a song about being dumped. Yup, the suspense is killing me too.

Yer Pal,

james clark

2008-01-21T11:34:00.000-08:00

Jeeezis...It's cold here in Toronto today!

And speaking of cold, here's the lyrics to the first song I wrote (2 years ago) for my upcoming record. The subject has to do with the really, really cold and callous way that I was dumped! I literally read the 'Dear James' email sent from Australia where she was away on business/vacation, turned around, picked up my guitar and the first verse and chorus of 'Chalk Outline' came flowing out of my mouth. I finished the song the following day.

CHALK OUTLINE

She said she was an artist but she failed to remind
Me before she departed, she was the escape kind.

“Confrontation’s not my strongest point”.
A quotation from a phrase she coined.
It leaves my loving arms out of joint.

They said she was an artist, incomparably so.
Creating beauty from darkness, this is the darkest I’ve ever known.

Technology breaks my heart.
Gives the ability for a cruel depart.
She signed her name, it must be art.

I want her to sign my chalk outline.
I need her to sign my chalk outline.

She said I was an artist who never met his potential.
So I’ve been discarded like a worn down shading pencil.

Technology breaks my heart.
Gives the ability for a cruel depart.
She signed her name, it must be art.

I want her to sign my chalk outline.
I need her to sign my chalk outline.
I hope she signs my chalk outline.
I need her to sign my chalk outline.
My chalk outline. My chalk outline.

Next time I'll give you the words to the next song I wrote for the record. 'Kangaroo' (obviously) still deals with her breaking my heart from half way around the world. Technology certainly gives one the ability to make a cruel depart. Wow....I oughta use that in a song sometime! Til then try and stay warm. I am.

yer pal

james clark

2008-01-13T20:07:00.000-08:00

YIKES! Where does the time go when one is writing and recording his soon to be released next widely overlooked record? I apologize friends and foes for not checking in sooner.

Well, this so called record I have been talking about for what seems like over 2 years, (note: it has been 2 years and 2 months since writing and recording began.) is juuuusssstttt about finished. No, really. I mean it this time. What's scary is I don't know what I'll have to write about once it is finished. Oh here's something....

I played a solo show last week at the club 'C'est What' located in Downtown Toronto. It was probably the best gig I've played in a while. I played fairly well but what made it so good was that there were actually people there! Not only that, but they seemed to appreciate what I was doing! It's a whole different show when there are people in the room....applauding!

So a friend of mine who I don't see very often came out to the show and afterwards asked me if I have any lyrics from my new songs posted anywhere? Hmmmm...it made me think that that would be a pretty good idea. So I've decided that I will be posting a new lyric here up until the record is released this spring. I said this spring. Yup! It's coming....spring!

So I start with a song entitled 'The World I Used To Live In'. This may end up being the opening track on the record, but that's not neccessarily why I'm starting with it. A character in the song (the curator) actually came out to the show at C'est What. Although I did indeed play this one and dedicated it to her, it was an odd feeling singing it in front of her for reasons I don't really want to get into here. She didn't say much about it when speaking with her after the show. Now I'm going to ruminate about it. Oh Great! Here ya go. Stay tuned and see ya soon...

Yer pal,
james clark

THE WORLD I USED TO LIVE IN

The law professor’s not returning my calls,
He’s busy making up brand new laws,
In case he ever catches me with his daughter again.
I’m finding out that I can no longer visit the world I used to live in.

The curator’s not willing to admit,
She used to like me like she liked your exhibits.
Now I'm on the outside wondering to myself should I peek in?
Get a final glimpse of the world that I used to live in.

Oh I’m the outsider, nail biter, town crier.
Crying to the extreme.
She’s the sidewinder, squeezing tighter,
Killing off the fighter in me.

The entrepreneur has offered me a position.
Shaming my soul but only under one condition,
That I leave his big sister alone and let her win.
Be the champion of the world that I used to live in.

Oh I’m the outsider, nail biter, town crier,
Crying to the extreme.
She’s the sidewinder, squeezing tighter,
Choking off the lover in me.

The ceramic urns are waiting to be busted.
By the jealous freak that she once stupidly trusted.
Now he's pathetically, esthetically all alone.
Pressed against the window of the world he thought he used to own.

Now I’m on the outside wondering to myself should I peek in.
Get a final glimpse of the world that I used to live in.
I'm finding out I can no longer visit the world I used to live in.
No I’m no longer welcome in the world I used to live in.

© james clark 2006

2007-08-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

So I was in my friend Garry's little home studio yesterday doing some more work on the upcoming james clark institute record, or as it has lovingly become known as 'The Liquid Paper Sessions". Garry has learned to write all of my track sheets in pencil since I am forever going over parts like some kind of tormented Brian Wilson wannabe. The differences being of course, Mr. Wilson was/is a musical genius. I am not. Brian's dad punched him in the ear once which resulted in Brian's loss of hearing. My dad used to just kick me in the ass. I can still hear just fine.

My good friend Dave who came to his senses a few years back and gave up on the 'music biz', was in with me adding some sweet harmony vocals to a song entitled 'Monstrous'. It's a very bare bones track featuring only acoustic guitar, vocals and either a harmonica or church organ solo. I haven't made up my mind yet which direction to take the solo section in. Should I go with 'Neil Young' or 'Kneel down'?

Here below are the lyrics to 'Monstrous'

MONSTROUS

The bees are bad this year. They buzz around my beer.
Making it hard to appear sincere but I am.
The stewardess was there. She let down her hair.
She was putting on airs though she was firmly on land.

Cindy Sherman’s ears must be burning.
This fairy tale’s turning monstrous.

In a cab on Williamson, it all came back with a grin.
While I was reaching in for $15.50.
‘Neil Young’s Greatest Hits’, and R.E.M. on cassette.
The soundtrack I won’t soon forget, to our movie.

Cindy Sherman’s ears must be burning,
This fairy tale’s turning monstrous

You share the same qualities as the damsel in distress.
I wear the same monogrammed handkerchief as Jesus, yeah.

Cindy Sherman’s ears must be burning.
This fairy tale’s turning monstrous.

Yesterday I sat in a Vaughn Road Laundromat,
Accepting that that is that and washing you away.

Cindy Sherman’s ears must be burning.
This fairy tale’s turning monstrous.
Monstrous….Monstrous.

(c) James Clark 2007.

Next week I head back in again to lay down drums for the last remaining songs that need 'em. Of course I will still have to narrow down the final song selection for the record. Here below is a list of all of the songs that have been recorded and lay thus far in various stages of completion:

Lake Monona Last Night

Sleeping In My favourite Shirt

Chalk Outline

Kangaroo

Bettie Page Rides Her Donkey

Box Of You

Big Shoes To Fill

Girl Heroine

Monstrous

Tonight I Wonder Where You Are Jenny R.

Nonetheless Happy

Out Of Your Hands

The World I Used To Live In

My Time Machine

Splinter In The Soul

A Terrible Beauty

Pretty Dexterity

Popularity Contest

False Hope

Jeeez, all this wallowing makes a guy sleepy.

Nighty night and stay tuned.

yer pal james clark

pssst.....welcome to my true confessions.

2007-08-12T20:42:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and foes!

How do you like the brand new james clark institute blog? Pretty exciting, isn't it?This is the place to keep up to date with what exactly is going on around the ole institute. Be sure that I will be posting new confessions on a regular basis. Most likely between visits to my therapist.

For all of you who are wondering where this new record is that I have been talking about for oh so long, well....it is coming. Yes I did want the recording process to be wrapped up by the end of this past June but alas, here it is the middle of August and the torment continues. I refuse to announce anymore release dates because well, quite frankly I am so tired of looking like an ass. But!.....let me just say that I am personally really liking the way the record is sounding thus far.

For those of you who are not aware of the story behind this forthcoming collection of songs, let me shine a little light upon it for you. I began writing the songs in the fall of 2005 soon after a long term romance/friendship went south. Although a couple of the tunes had already been written previously, they fit in perfectly well with the concept. I think to this date I have recorded some 30 songs for this project. Yes, admittingly the majority of them are large pieces of poo. Mostly me just screaming obscenities at her. But the main purpose of writing the songs at the time was primarily for theraputic reasons. I truly feel that if I wasn't able to write about what was happening, I may very well not be here right now creating this fascinating piece of journalism. The final track listing for the record will probably number somewhere between 9 and 12 songs. No, this is certainly not an original concept for a record. Everybody's done it before me. From Dylan to Lennon to Sinatra to Beck, so I feel like I am in pretty darn good company. Yes, it won't be the most uplifting collection of songs, but at the same time I believe it will be entertaining. Afterall, someone else's pain is always entertaining, isn't it?

Stay tuned....

Yer pal,
james clark

2007-08-12T19:41:00.001-07:00

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